he sat in the back on the way home. singing lines from his favorite emo bands to help ease his mind. he got home and quicklly got on the computer to check for email. nothing was there. so then he checked his myspace for comments or messages. once agian, he came up dry. so then he got depressed and drank strawberry milk. and after that he sat down at his computer to write this, the stupid freakin narrative. man that milk was pretty good. that was my fourth drink im drank from that cup today actually.
do you know plastic was originally invented?
no? well its simple. plastic isnt what you think. it wasnt actually invented on accident. that was just a cover up. you see, many years ago, in a land called honalee, there was a magicall dragon named puff. and he was the ruler over all of honalee. then there was the land just south of honalee, cleverlly nicknamed "the eternal pit". the lands real name is joe. anyway joe and honalee were at war. and puff and his men were at war with joe and its people. honalee was being driven back by joe and they needed something stronger than stone to combat their enimies with. thus plastic was invented. not in the way you might think however. at first they tried combineing oil and water. which obviouslly did nothing.next they tried rock and hot rock to make plastic. which is odd. and somehow, this plastic was harder than diamond. go figure. going needlessly farther back, when puff was a little boy, we explore the history of honalee. let me say this first. the name of joes future leader is henery. but were just going to call him pat. why? because im the narrarator and i can do what i want!!!! so there. where was i? oh yes. pat. well at that time puff and pat were about 14. they were really close too. they would always hang out and do whatever it is they felt like. then one day puff saw a girl dragon he licked. unbeknowest to him, pat liked her too. so. while puffs over here taking girl dragon out pat dating her as well. and girl dragon, (from now on were gunna call her taylor) really only likes pat but feels bad to refuse puff when he asks her out. okay so we got a love triangle going on here. those suck. but we got one so deal with it. one day into a resraunt comes pat. notice that while pat is entering, puff is already eating with taylor. pat is heartbroken. along with taylor. puffs fine. but everyone else lives suck right now. so now, taylors ticked at herself and puff. pat is ticked at puff, and puff is ticked that he dropped is ipod while walking home one day. anyway taylor and pat never get back together and taylor breaks up the already non-existant realationship between them. so
now puff is ticked. so puff (and rightlly so) blames pat for this. pat does the same. their little war lasts for the rest of their lives too. even until present day, where honalee and joe battle each other. however, between you and i, i believe pats army to be stronger. even though puff may have rock solid plastic, pat has got these little sling things, and they dont even shoot pebles. no they shoot lightning bolts. ingenious is it not? no? why? oh. because their army has plastic. thats right. ok then. what if i told you than ran out? well they did. so now only like half their army has plastic armor. however, only half of pats troops have those fancy pants slings anyway. the other half have heat seeking missle launchers. ya and so i dont care how hard your plastic is. a missle will most likelly pinitrate it. going needlesslly forward, we have how their conflict was resolved. now if youll think back to the song a minute, youll remember that dragons aare immortal. which is bad news if puff cant repopulate other planets. the whole world would end up like china. the point is that dragons are immortal. and puff and pat both are dragons. so i bet now your thinkin, "so how is conflict resolved if they are immortal? they mustve put trouble behind them right?" wrong. your stupid if you think dragons forgive and forget. once agian bad news because sooner or later one dragons gonna P.O another one. ok so we got immortal + unforgiveing. what does that give us class? you in the front. yes he is correct! violence. violence is the solution to this particular case. however there is the problem of them being immortal so whatdya think class. you agian? ok fine. once agian he is correct! there are those immortals that have weaknesses. take superman. he cant die. yet apply kryptonite and hes down! okay so what are dragons weak to... hmmmm. ooo ooo! how about dog fur? no that sounds like more of an alergy. you know, something that might give you a cold for a while but nothing serious. how about titanium? ya sure. a little like kryptonite but ok. ill take it. so now that you got the dragons weakness, you apply the weakness to the subject. which is what puff ended up doing to pat. locked him in a titanium room for all eternity. before you start "throwing full wine bottles at your computer" i have something to accomadate your sensitivity needs. pat gets busted out. after being locked in the joint for 45,000 years, some of his old school buddies learn of his whereabouts. now thinking back to superman. he has a weakness, but also a way to protect himself from that weakness. in this case lead. so why isnt supermans spandex made out of lead? like some kinda stretchy lead or something? whatever. so dragons are immune to fire. well thats handy. the one thing that shields them is fire. well not necicarally fire. just heat in generall. so they pour hot lava on themselves and brake down the walls and free their buddy. then they go kill puff with an titainium spike. now if youve ever read one of my long rants before, and somehow, your still reading this, youll notice my stories get increasinglly bloodier and grewsome. soooo oh well. it depends on how late its gotten and time spent typing. anyway they go kill puff without consent from pat. then when pat finds out, he kills his friends. in all actuallity, he didnt really kill his friends. but he did sorta cause their deaths. he attacked an oil boat thingy just off the coast of honalee and a giant oil tanker spills oil everywhere and polutes the water. the source of life in honalee. and so everyone dies. including pat. then everyone in the world dies because it was a really big tanker and polutes alll the water in the world somehow. great. so now everyones dead. how come all my stories end up like this? its like when your playing a game. mom says your times up to ome upstairs for supper. so you keep playing for 30 minutes then decide to heed your mother and get off. so what do you do? you save your game, then do something stupid, like jump off a cliff, or go on a rampage and mow down your allies. does anyone else have that problem or is it just me? well my typing speed has slowed and my hands kinda hurt so im going to get off and go downstairs to watch a movie then go to bed. man i really needed to write something. even if it was something stupid like this.