*dont mind stuff directlly below cos its an inside joke. this email was originelly written to a friend of mine at school*
suotspwft (see below for gutting long rant)
(see u on the scape pancakes waffles french toast. why the h is it "french"toast anyway? perhaps the person who invented it was french. or maybe, an american invented it and an evil french guy stole his idea and brain washed him before he could sell them world wide and become rich and famous! wait a minute! if the american could do that, then why didnt the french guy? perhaps the french person was above such things as riches. but if he was then u would think he wouldnt brain wash a person. anyway a dirty chineese person probablly came in 1 night and killed the french guy in his sleep! however the word was already out! it was called french toast! and the chineese man coulnt stop that! his life long dream of haveing a fat food named after his origin was ruined! so then he seeked revenge! he came after the french with an accompanyment of samuria soldires! oh dear! the chinesse interuppted tea time! those chinesse sons of ........ham sanwitches, are going down! "grab yr guns chaps! those ol' nastys will pay!" it was a bloody skirmish. however, the chineese won after haveing trained in their samuari ways. the french and chineese were never allies after that. when the french in an attempt to make peace invited them over for tea, the chinesse bulled out a dagger and stabbed them. a law was passed that no chinnese would be allowed to pass the border. to insure this would be kept, the french created the wall of....where ever french peoples are located. anyway this wall sourronded the french. and all french that were out on holiday sipping tea were instructed to come back inside the wall. this made the chinnesse angry. "those worthless dogs! they stole our idea! a giant wall! they will pay.so they all got on their horses and rhode to the wall! they got to it then they all stoped. "now what?".....many minutes passed."lets throw rocks at wall."2 years passed and the wall finnally crumbled. " oh look guys i have some rope right here! silly me." this man was soon killed. this started an outrage among the chineese samurias. they began killing each other without hesitation. soon every1 was dead. then a german explorer came along and saw what was left of the massacre. he went back to his country and reported what he saw and gave them a journal 1 of the men kept. it read: the french are worthless dogs! what a shame that is our worst name to be called! the french are our greatest enimies! the shall die!;end journal. so the germans decided to just go kill every1 senselessly. they did until their numbers were few. then the french, the chineese and the germans all decided to settle this thing once and for all. they decided that the french could keep the french toast. the germans could have waffles. and the chinnesee could have pancakes.(they r the closest thing to something they eat.rice cakes.) so it was settled. no more killing over fat foods. pancakes were then called worthlessdogcakes. then the chinnese representitive jumped up, pulled out 2 daggers and killed them both. a strange glow now eluminated the french toast and waffles. the souls of each nationality glowed with eachs symbol. they spoke to him saying, "you have killed us. you have been cursed in the name of waffles." the other spake saying, "you have killed us. you have been cursed in the name of french toast." the chinesse man then noticed he had a grid on him! and he turned a lighter brown! he looked like a pancake! wait! then his fingers felt sticky! they were covered with syrup and butter! the curse!
stay tuned for randommly long rant chapter two. the renvenge of the fat foods!
for now i guess ill just stick to ononsns. (that started at like 11:30 now its 12:24. wow. oh well.)
*i hope u enjoyed that little bit of worthless littaturre. thats 30 minutes youll never, ever get back*